Ying?
changed a site, go to http://fik-ying.tripod.com
oh haha, singapore chinese girls' school won nan chiau secondary school for basketball national competition today!! woooooooooo!! haha, was really happy cos my team played so well today, im so proud of them! lol, keep it up scgs bball team! love 'em!
aiight tmr's our sports day and its rather pathetic but we need no sympathy cos no one's really co operating much and i totally detest everyone's nonchalant character. i mean like, if u know that ur a fast runner, then just go adn freaking run the race, cos we really dont have anyone to run! what the hell man. grow up, no one's gonna laugh at ur effort, they're just gonna mock ur so called plain timidity. to hell with u wishy-washy participants.
okay, well, im rather uptight bout the coming o levels exams. apparently, im aiming for a 8-9point raw score when im like getting 19points. haha u do the math..how da hell am i gonna get my 8-9 points? hee, but look at me, im one who creates miracles, lol, just count on me man.
one more thing, i realised that long distance relationship does work, and thats without a doubt. when im close to my mum, in terms of geographical location, we just cant see eye to eye cos we're both strong-headed and u know what happens when two strong headed women are together. get it, the key word is women. haha, its a total disaster i must tell ya. man, my tummy's feeling queasy cos of the oily chicken banditto i ate. how i wished i could enter harvard law school now and not study any more unnecessary stuff.
one more thing to be upset bout, that is, my literature. man, i can make observations and my passion for this subject is just so strong that no one, not even eminem can take that away from me. i really need an A for this freakin stubject. may shakespeare bless me. oh well, i love u mom , and i love u william...shakespeare. till then, period.
well, for some reasons, my blog is one that survives on simplicity, and i need some complexity to get myself involved. i looked at some other's blog that is either cute, or morbidly made up, and this made my heart sink with the computer illiterate soul living inside of me.
i need to learn soem basic html, and form an ally with the computer system. i wonder how bill gates got himself so rich. how long did he take to interact with this dumb lifeless form of the universe? haha.
oh and i auditioned for some baba role for our peranakan play. it went rather smoothly, though disappointments were present for some people, and sometimes they just shouldnt allow comments to get to them. they should stand firmly by their beliefs and not be deterred just by some bitchy chick. haha talkin bout that bitch, on friendster, i see endless testimonials by the males talkin bout how attractive she is (i aint doubting that) and other than physical attraction, there was an inner attraction ; she is friendly, helpful, caring and etc. haha hmm i wonder why i didnt find those qualities in her. lol, even chay agrees with me. o well, the not she-males are blind and so are u.
hahah, erm back to the play, well, we're holdin this dramafest sorta thing, and its supposedly gonna be fun. i aint hoping too much cos based on past experiences, im always being disappointment and disappointments aint welcome in my way of life cos i HATE that feeling, totally detest it. aiight, haha i sound a lil childish there, but o well, im a twelve year old living inside a 15 year old. but then, sometimes i think like a 20 year old. or maybe those in my age are just too ignorant.
i shant go into the details.. bleah, the people around me are so freaking pretentious that whenver i think bout it, i try hard not to puke. oh i should talk bout something happy, i like adam sandler! ahahaa, i think hes cute, and i loved him from "big daddy" still kinda remembered when i was 12 or 13, ad i watched "big daddy" like three times in a week, consecutively, well, that didnt go for my idolatry addiction to eminem's MTV, which i watch like 24/7 when 8 mile came out. (im sorry cos i bought the bootleg copy of the MTV) haha shhhh..
aiight, im really contented and happy cos i feel that i've grown up, matured, (haha maturity reminds me of pubic hair) o well, cos i learnt to take control of my emotions and not let other's emotions take control of me. i need no one to give me happiness cos i wanna find my own happiness, i need no one let me suffer their pains cos they cant get to me. IM strong. i love myself.
heh, well, its saturday and im like counting the days to go before i can leave this freaking disgusting place that brings such short-lived happiness. o well, i think the venue doesnt really matter, is it just me?
haha, o well, i really hope that john kerry wins and terminate the dumb bush administration. o man, someone just save COBAIN and freakin bring him to life! i need some more of his music to kinda perk me up during my boring studying routines. oh well, i think that courtney doesnt even deserve his love at all. what the hell, what she doing tryin to catch everyone's attention by pullin her shirt up? oh man, aww cobain can never rest in peace with guys going up to courtney and kissing her bare parts.
whens the next saturday gonna come? oh well, hope tomorrow's gonna be a better day.
bleah, just took the math test in school today, and i totally screwed it despite the constant practisiing of the sums yesterday nite. does anyone realise that i kinda sacrifice my sleep just to make friends with a few fucking numbers in the math exercises? bleah, i think there aint no sense in me practising. haha actually i have only myself to blame cos the errors were mostly basic fundamental differentiation techniques and apparently i know tha freaking methods to bring about the answer but then, if i cant even start the simple differentiation, how the hell can i get the answers? oh pls, numbers, agree with me.
aiight, then another thing, have u ever felt a sense of sorrow and angst instead of guilt cos i prolly didnt practise hard enough. and i was like disgusted by the masochistic public around me in school today. everyone was like "whao i didnt expect tha test to be tha basic and simple", and remarks like "the only hard to deal question was ..." bleah what the fuck? stop adding salt to my freaking wound!!! but then, who the hell am i to condemn them? they have the right to feel superior and perhaps happy, even though they didnt wanna appear to be giving me the condescending look of all centuries.
masochistic fools, stop feeding on my sorrow! lol, hahhahahahahaha, man, the more i think about it, the more comical it turns ou to be. how ironical i ask myself. while im feeling sad and feeling like theres a conflagration building up inside me, i find the whole sitituation so amusing, prolly just some dry humour apparent there. its all a freaking joke cos the test's just something that prolly meant for me to utilize, to kinda discover characteristics and people, and how sensitive they are. and i kinda found out that who i expected to be there for me, aint there for me, even the obvious people who's supposed to kinda cheer me up, successfully failed doing so. man, my life is whimsical, it changes directions so suddenly that im taken aback myself.
well as i have said, i kinda realised at once, it was like i was snapped back to reality (yea right eminem) and figured out tha i guess i just gotta stand on my own and not depend on any other person here, cos im my own emotional stabilizer and hoping tha someone else might just lend me a hand in my emotional matters may just make matters worse. haha tanner, u might be there consoling me but then u aint in tha situation where i was in, so its prolly easier for u to say comforting words, but if we really are in tha situation together, i really doubt that u'll still be there with ur tranquilizer to soothe me. so aiight.
tha's it i guess, and im still kinda waiting for my uncle's mail to be dropped in my mailbox. gonna patronise u soon again blogger.
readin the united burger states of america
a well-written book by a sophisticated writer who summarised america in an uncomplicated way
i see caricatures of bush on Time magazines aint no sense to what they exaggerate bout
he's just worrying whos gonna be the next john kerry
with sex and violence terrorising the screens engulfing the kids in a cloud of confusion with connotations and concoctions of a masked purpose by the media
watching "thirteen" with my younger bro and the girl's mom in thirteen was stripped by her so-called boyfriend someone whom she regained her vitality and perharps fertility,
i began questioning the idea behind this stripping act, was it necessary was it compulsory? it prolly meant no more than the discovery channel being brought in a movie depicting humans instead of those living beasts, and the males are having a feast there,
guns shoved at one another's head as easily as putting a gum and chewing the reserves of the rubber tree,
young kids being diffident having a confidence lower than a rodent, are they supposed to be in contempt all these while, who the fuck chooses their fate for them? aint no one gonna be supercilious and calling them superficial when they possess their own artificial brains and creating works of artifice in duping these kids nowadays,
as an outsider lookin at america on the world map i see nothing more than a a country with a shape of a cow and prolly the mind of a mad cow too, tha's prolly where the disease is derived from literally as it parallels the whole situation they're in,
Spend more cash on educating ur kids stead of trying to salvage the situation in Iraq when the mentality of ur own kids are deteriorating seriously, surviving on either prozac or valium, and the desperate on Viagra. Drugs are one thing, fight the war on terrorism as the dark morbid thoughts threaten and terrorise ur kids all day long, as they have no armed forces to defend themselves.
As i peered at the macdonalds a street away, i cant help but let my thoughts be stolen away, as forgiveness for this great United States surfaced, as eminem has put it, "i'm just playin around, you know i love u america"
My contact lenses sticking to my pupils,
Blurring my image due to the prolonged pain,
Iris always given a chance to be significant, embellished by that whiteness of the eye,
180degrees, that was its limit,
I removed the lenses,
watched it shrivell up in front of me due to lack of skyjuice,
moisture ripped off,
bringing two fingers together,
specks of plastic was resulted.
as blind as a bat i stood, the mirror had a vague smile
an enigma, as mysterious as it could be.
i cant see myself, all i could decipher after squinting was a pale face,
going closer, the mirror engulfed me.
Petrified, i was defeated even without drawing out my sword.
I felt what Germany has felt for the first world war.
Hitler was one to salvage the situation, so i asked out loud,
"wheres my adolf?"
I looked around and saw nothing but just the cheap silver-rim of the glass,
it peeling off, with layers of it being unfold.
Rust apparent to even the blind eye of mine, i dont see why other people failed to see that,
Why am i always the one seeing things in a weird way at times, and no one ever agrees to what i think?
they dont believe that layer of rust was present, and called me a liar, doubting me all the while,
i told them they had been duped by the mirror maker,
they just told me to go to the optician,
they paid reasonable price for that authentic silver rimmed glass.
i went away hurt and dejected.
one month later, the mirror was just lined with rust.
